KarlBrown.blogspot.com

This is Karl Brown:

Karl Brown is one of my best friends and a hater of blogging. In fact, he thinks that blogs are the worst parts of the internet. (I myself like to leave this category to child pornography or parents on facebook, but to each their own.)
So in the true spirit of our friendship, i thought it only right to put a picture of him on my blog and post it on his facebook.

He is one of the funniest, rudest, sweetest and beautiful men I have had the pleasure to meet and I miss him immensely.
(And not only because I need a haircut.)

Pot Noodles

I'm broke...

Anyone in Toronto have tools?

Happy Halloween!

I'm not really one for Halloween, but I am crazy about dog's in funny costumes.


And I'm starting to get into Legos...

Falling on Deaf Ears

Alright, I really don't think anyone reading this lives in Toronto but, if you do, you should go to the above. I was in 107 Shaw Gallery last night and it's looking pretty good. Plus Les Ramsay is a fellow Vancouverite and all around pretty stand-up guy.

Now since you probably don't live in Toronto, you should click on the links and check things out. 107 Shaw Gallery is the nonsexual love-child of Danny "the shrine" Fazio and the beautiful and talented plinth painter, Lana Belle.

Smoke 'em If You Got 'em

def.
1. When there is an unavoidable delay in an activity,
2. When in a predicament when it appears death is inevitable,
3. A fast moving ping-pong rally

This post has no meaning...

SunDAEs

Played in the leaves for the first time in my life today.
jumped and buried and threw and rolled and kicked and screamed and laughed and lost and found and ran and hid
I ate a sundae in the cold today.
ran from killer hornets, joined a lego band, wrestled wild animals, learned a karate dance

I know it's been awhile but I'd recommend playing the next time you get a chance.

Somedays

I miss London more than others.

Today is one of those days.

HOLY!

Marina you are such a babe. Like, if I were the kind of girl that were into girls, I'd give Louis a run for his money.

Oh Canada!

Alright back in the North.
Forgot how much longer it takes to get things taken care of (ie 2.5 weeks to get internet) and how much more you have to pay for exactly the same things (can't buy anything but books via amazon and mobile service is crazy expensive) if you can even get the thing in the first place (major lack of available magazines.)
But it's good to be home and legal. Toronto's not shaping out to be that bad and I'm pretty lucky to be hanging out with some amazing chicks.

But I do miss my NY roomy.

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

After living above a very noisy neighborhood in the heart of Manhattan for several months, I've still not become accustomed to all the bloody honking.  

So I've decided that threatening with fines isn't scaring anybody.  I herby propose that these criminals breaking the 'Don't Honk' rule need to face more severe punishments. 

There are 2 levels to my plan,  

1. First time law breakers are subject to having a comedy horn, so that every time they punch their wheel in anger a joke noise comes from their front end.

2. If this doesn't deter the perpetrator they will move up to Level "Crazy Annoying songs that get stuck in your head." This horn only plays to the inside of the vehicle and I think the rest is self explanatory.

It's superficial

Alright I'll admit it I read a rag. 

TheSuperficial.com and only that, gives me all my celeb gossip (he's pretty f-ing funny.)

Say what you will but now that the confession is out of the way- today I read the most ridiculous diva moment... 

Madonna is on vacation, jumps in to the water (wearing a Madonna shirt) and has an assistant jump in after her with an umbrella to swim her back to the yacht, blocking the sun.

LP and I have decided that if we had Madonna-Money we'd probably do the same thing just because we could. What does the woman who has everything get herself for her birthday?

But you've gotta give the gal credit. I mean, a parasol in the ocean? 

That's pretty creative.

And if I can make it there, Im gonna make it anywhere...

11:15 pm - man on side of the street asks if i can spare some change. I apologize but actually stop for a second and wonder why i always say the words 'I'm sorry' to these people when I'm really not.  After a moment of contemplation, the guilt sets in: I decide this guy is gonna get my change on the way out of the shop.

11:18 pm - walk out from said store to see said man stand up, pull a wallet out of his pocket and start flicking through a pile of $20 bills. 

11:19 pm - I pass a cafe under our place, with said change still in my pocket, and notice a man drawing a keepsake picture of a couple enjoying some sake.

11:31 pm - I sit down at my computer to write a blog. Look out the window to see said artist singing 'New York, New York' in baritone whilst tap dancing down the middle of Mott.

This place is full of characters.

Pour a little for Omar Knedik

After 2 years of living in a land where Slurpees are unheard of...

I've found a 7eleven. 

A little slurp for thought:

1) The Slurpee was invented by shop owner Omar Knedik in the late 1950's when his soda fountain broke (I'm sure you can figure out how the story went from there.)

2) Adele's personal fav, the 'Screamer', is made by floating a little soft-serve ice cream in a Slurpee.

3) Winnipeg, Manitoba (Ca) has been named the Slurpee Capitol of the World 10 years running.

4) Most Slurpee flavors are certified kosher parve, halal and vegan. The Diet Pepsi (?) and Pina Colada flavors are not.

5) During the summer months in Vancouver, my average Slurpee intake was approx 0.75 Slurpees/day.

They are the very best.

I was lucky enough to get to see some good ol' London friends play in ny this weekend.  They call themselves The Very Best and for good reason- the show was filled with amazing tunes, special guests and cute dancers. If you missed it they'll be doing it again across N.america in October so make sure to check them out.

My new cell doesn't take the clearest pictures so watch the video:

And for the 2 of you in New york that read this, I know I've already invited you, but come to this on Saturday.... 

It's hot out there

Today was one of those days that the only reason there was any heat to the water in my second shower was to open my pours enough to get the sticky out.

I think I may be melting.

coming and going

 

I was looking through the pics from my leaving london /annabel's housewarming and thought I might post some on here, since the only people that would ever look at this page are probably in the photos anyway. 

Someone thank Gil for all the food and the fireworks display.

Oh, and Anthony (if you read this) I miss you.... 

Don't let it go to your head.

3G

Apparently, someone's shown Prada the iEffect app and they've used it to shoot a lookbook.

(and that's why they call me the comedian.)
via

The best blog on this putain de planet

Have you ever checked out LP's blog? Well you should, it's amazing.

Along with Blahg Blahg Blahg, it's my favorite thing on 

the whole world wide web. 

(and let's be honest Annabel, one of the reasons I love your blog is because I'm mentioned so often.)  

He finds all the cool stuff so I can focus my internet efforts on current obsessions. 

Presently: M.  K. & A.  sites.

You may notice that he refers to me as The Comedian. That's because he thinks my jokes are just so funny. In fact, he's always telling me to start a stand-up act... 

practicing outside the house of course, where he can't hear me. 

Juicefast

There are certain foods/drinks that i have enjoyed more as I've aged; 

wine,

seafood,

bread crust, 

mushrooms, 

onions,

stinky cheeses, 

and now extra pulp in my oj.

Used to be a smooth girl but this is too much like the real thing.

Disclaimer: juicefast is breakfast and juice combined, not fast juice. 

Don't drink too quickly, you may choke.

(baboom-cha... that ones for you LP)

What did you have for breakfast?

Being unemployed has it's advantages. Having no money/not knowing anyone to go for lunch with has forced me to be more adventurous with left overs.
On today's menu: Sundried tomato and feta scramble served with fresh basil on sourdough bread (I'd forgotten how the good bread selection is in N.America.)

It is a Small World after all

okay it's a little late but my first day in ny..

First things first, LP took me out to get everything I needed to feel comfortable; cell phone, check, dresser to put my little things in, check. Unpacked and cellphone in hand we took my first real walk around the neighborhood, down to the lower east side and what do we happen upon but a gigantic billboard in the lower Eastside with Johan's name on it!

We turned the corner after leaving the billboard, we came across the new Pimps and Pinups salon (the salon my bff Karl works for in London) that opened up here a few months ago. We dropped in to say hi to the owner James who just happened to be in town for a few days. We left to go check out a boutique LP likes to shop at just down the street and low and behold Dani Brown is working.

Feeling at home already. Disney really had something with the whole 'small world' thing.  Who knew?

The pic above is Johan's billboard. Get the free music for It Was Written here or better yet prepare for The Very Best Tour here with even more free music.  How could you not love this guy?

Kuwait Air

I just flew with Kawait Air and it was amazing.
My seat was tiny and didn't lean back, the tv was broken and the flight was dry (read: no booze.) To make up for it; the attendants were actually enjoying their jobs, there was a sense of camaraderie between the passengers and the food was so smart: Mild lentil and aubergine curry served with rice and naan.
Why hasn't anyone else thought of this?

Take away food served as flight food = genius.

Where were you on June 25, 2009?

Is it weird that I'll probably always remember the moment I found out Michael Jackson died? 

update: Just got home from Bricklane and there is some serious Michaelmania happening.  Every shop is blaring thriller, the guy selling vintage furniture has all his Jackson albums out and the girl in the coffee shop looked up at me and simply said "I can't believe he's dead."

I proceeded to tell her my celebrity island theory.

If you're stepping out with your chicadee

Annabel just made my day.

Klutzin'

After being Marina's moral support on her Diesel Radio show, she repaid me by pouring a glass of OJ all over me while telling a very animated story.

Which made me realize that there are two types of clumsiness' in the world..

a) I'm a super klutz; if there is anything around to trip over, spill, or walk into, it will attack me.  (I will never be able to wear white because of this.)

b) Apparently, Marina only uses said items to attack other people. Once she totaled Louis' laptop and external hard-drive simultaneously using only a pint of water and her foot.

Which is more socially awkward? 

reason to bite my tongue no. 54850

Just found out that the terrifying bloke that threatened me at work the other night, causing us to have to lock up early and jump every time I heard a loud noise on my walk home, had very recently been released from prison for attempted murder. 

Seriously...

What Sundays should look like...

Going to miss London Fields sooo much.

Paper Trail

I pass this lady every few days.  She just walks up and down old street with gigantic headphones  and a stack of paper.  As she walks she quietly talks to herself, tears a small piece of the paper and throws it into the wind.  

I find her completely fascinating.  
I want to know what she's whispering, what she's listening to and what the papers say.  I can't investigate any further though, as she really doesn't like that I notice her. She gives me this 'I'm not the crazy one here' look (but I guess she's kind of right to, seeing as how I'm the one who has now taken a picture of her from the upstairs of a bus.)

Personification

Why do some people name their cars?

Personally, I think the only inanimate objects that should be named are teddy bears.

Note:  I don't consider the Batmobile a name,  more like a descriptor. 

Tephritidae

I came home from Vancouver to find our toilet overrun with pesky little fruit flies. It's a bit of a mystery why they have all congregated in that room as we don't really make a habit out of storing fruit in there. Anyway, around lunchtime today they decided to make a move for my room. 

After several hours of chasing them down and smashing them individually with a plimsole, Annabel suggested spraying them with windex.  This was a great suggestion in theory but when you spray flying bugs they fall, and in this case they're falling onto my bed.  WikiHow suggested the "fun and highly effective" method of using the back of a hairdryer to suck them in and fry them. 

Guess it's back to squishing them with my shoe.

Is it weird that I still say a silent apology every time I kill one?

Better late than never

figured it was time to start  one of these things after talking about my imaginary blog for over a year.

just what the world needs, more edited ramblings.